Jump David Jump

Silly and Short-sighted Suffering?

We've received some great news, haven't we?! A Grade II Oligo-based tumor with a co-deletion of the correct DNA chromosomal arms. I have no doubt that your prayers were influential in these test results.  As we know, God responds to prayers of faith and acts on our behalf even when it goes against the physical parameters we typically assign to our situations. I simply love the idea (despite the difficulty) of praying and acting with such faith that God must move on our behalf.

First off, I have received some amazing blog comments from people all over who have been following this story over the past few weeks.  As I've previously stated, I feel as though I can't quite explain what has been going through my head and heart, but God has shown Himself more than capable to get the message across.  For that, I'm thankful, I'm honored and to be quite honest, scared to write again!

However, a comment recently came through that really peaked my interest. It's from a person who was a little confused about my approach to this whole tumor thing and I imagine he/she is not the only person thinking these thoughts. I didn't want to respond flippantly so I thought about it for a few days before addressing it.

To the person who left this comment - thanks for being honest with your feelings.  And also, thank you for your kind words about me overcoming this tumor. I sincerely appreciate it and my friends and I will continue to pray for God to heal this tumor. Moving on, the comment was...

"Ok, first, i'm sorry you have cancer and i'm happy at least it's not quite as bad as it could be.

but this whole "praise god because its the right kind of cancer!" is still just goofy.  man, the guy put this tumor into my head that is horrible and most likely fatal.  so "thank god he made it the right kind of brain tumor!" is silly and just a little short-sighted. 

brain tumors happen, they suck, i'm glad you have a positive attitude and i hope you can hang in there.  bad stuff happens.  lots of muslims/atheists/buddhists get brain tumors too.  some live and some die."

Ha! I agree it's a little goofy to praise God for a 'right' vs. 'wrong' kind of cancer. They are still both cancer I suppose. But, all things being equal, if given an opportunity to choose the 'right' type of cancer and elongate my own life-span, I would want to live a full life with my lovely wife filled with laughter, children, travel, Thai food buffets, a Cubs World Series Championship, perfect October days, etc... And medically speaking, a diagnosis of the 'wrong' type of cancer would shorten my life-span and keep me from enjoying this beautiful opportunity we call 'life'. So, it's not too crazy to say that praying for the 'right' type of cancer sounds reasonable. Or at least if God grants us an opportunity to enjoy one more plate of Pad Thai or another season of Cubs disappointments, we can at least show some gratitude, right?

But unfortunately, many people suffer from the 'wrong' type of cancer. Everyday I hear story after story of people who are dealing with and dying from what some would consider the cursed 'wrong' type of cancer. Like never before my heart goes out to these people and I pray for them to receive grace that is more than sufficient for their suffering and peace that surpasses all understanding. But here is the 'silly' thing... I still hear these people praising God for their cancer and the impact it has made in their life. Even in their suffering, they still know God is in control. Blows. My. Mind.

Oddly enough, some of the most comforting words I have received since my diagnosis have been from my new friends with the 'wrong' type of cancer. It reminds me of this beautiful passage in Streams In The Desert (entry for July 19th):

"We cannot do good to others save at a cost to ourselves, and our afflictions are the price we pay for our ability to sympathize. He who would be a helper, must first be a sufferer.  He who would be a savior must somewhere and somehow have been upon a cross; and we cannot have the highest happiness of life in comforting others without tasting the cup which Jesus drank.

The most comforting of David's psalms were pressed out by suffering and if Paul had not had the thorn in his flesh, we would have missed much of the tenderness which quivers in so many of his letters. 

The present circumstance which presses so hard against you is the best-shaped tool in the father's hand to chisel you for eternity. Trust Him, then. Do not push away the instrument lest you lose its work.

The school of suffering graduates rare scholars."

When I read this above passage I know my suffering (as well as yours) is neither 'silly' nor 'short-sided', but in fact the opposite. Every moment of suffering is an opportunity, if allowed, for us to be chiseled for eternity and to grow in empathy for the sufferings of others. I pray above all else that my cancer (whether right, wrong, good, bad, silly, goofy, etc...) shows the world that Christ suffered for us, not so that his followers could be rich, healthy, well-networked, smart and good-looking, but so that the world would know His followers by their ongoing sacrificial actions of compassion and love for those who are the lowest of the low.

And Dear Commenter, you are right; Muslims, Atheists & Buddhists get brain tumors as well. Some of them live and some of them die. I suppose it's safe to say cancer is open to take the lives of all types of people.  It's an equal-opportunity killer showing no preference for religious beliefs. If we were to accept this basic fact that cancer is open to all types of people, I guess the real question would be, what types of people are open to cancer?

I want to be open to cancer and the new things it will bring into my life.

This is all new to me, but as I begin to learn of the emotional suffering cancer causes and not yet begun to undergo the physical changes that lie in my future, I can say I feel I am being prepared for what is to come. I know that what lies ahead of me is out of my control. I know that I am a part of something bigger than myself. I want to be the type of person who is open and ready for cancer and the physical suffering that could potentially lie ahead.

But here is my biggest fear.

I'm afraid that if I could go back and be given a choice to choose 'right', 'wrong' or even 'no cancer', I would have chosen the easiest route, to pass on this cup handed to me. If given the choice I would have gladly passed on this diagnosis, yet unfortunately also passed on the amazing changes coming from God who I still believe designed this cancer for me; changes in my relationship with God, my marriage, my family, my friends, my career, etc...

It's easy for us to pray for safety, comfort, health and wealth. But are we willing to pray for anything that will bring us closer to Christ? Even if it includes suffering? I hope that we would never miss out on an opportunity to understand the sufferings of Christ so we can be chiseled for eternity, to grow in maturity and perseverance and to sympathize with those around us who are also suffering. And despite the fear and pain that may come, I hope we can all repeat the words of Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane as He was being led to his death:

"Shall I not drink the cup my father has given me?" -John 18:11

I'm sorry for dishing out my 'armchair theology', and I know that many of you are probably sick of hearing it. (That's the great thing about blogs, you can stop reading whenever you like!) If you can take anything from this post, please pray that you can take joy in your sufferings and not avoid them by running from them at all costs. In the past month I can say I've learned more about who God is, who I am and how my priorities need to be rearranged. And if it takes suffering to help me learn these lessons, I wil gladly accept it. And I praise God that the lessons I learn from this will be neither silly nor short-sided.

"Dear friends, do not be surprised at the painful trial you are suffering, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice that you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when His glory is revealed."

- 1 Peter 4:12-13

Much Love.

The P's and Q's are in order!!!

Just got off the phone with Dr. Awesome who let me know I have a co-deletion of both the 1p and 19q DNA chromosomal arms!  For those of you who don't speak genetics, this is fantastic news!!!

This means that my tumor will be much more sensitive to Chemotherapy and have an improved overall prognosis! WOOT!

I'll keep this post short because I've been bombarding you with online novels recently, but I want to thank each of you for your prayers. The support I have received across the internet has been mind-boggling. Praise God for this good news!

Stay tuned, this story is just starting to get good...

1. Operation 55 Zebra - Grade II - Oligodendroglioma
2. Operation 55 Zebra - Co-Deletion of 1p/19q chromosomes
3. Eat Massive Hot Fudge Ice Cream Sundae

What's with all the Jumping?

I've had a few people ask about the name of this blog, 'Jump David Jump'. In fact, I've even had a few people mention that the title and header graphic are slightly... well, eerie given recent developments. But it's true, this recent discovery of brain cancer will be the biggest opportunity for me to make a change, to move from where I'm at to where I want to be.

I want to take a quick minute to update you on the past, present & future of this blog, because I think it will impact both how I write it and how you read it. Hopefully this isn't boring, but I feel a disclaimer is necessary.

When creating this blog, I had a general idea of what it was about and what I wanted to say.  But honestly, I was too chicken to post my real thoughts. What if I offend someone? What if I don't sound smart? What if someone doesn't think I'm cool anymore? My entire life has been somewhat focused on fitting in and people pleasing and let's face it, blogs about 'people pleasing' don't seem to be in high-demand.

I was too scared to write the things I actually wanted to say so it became yet another boring and rarely visited blog.  However, if I'm going to share God's story of how he has been designing this cancer for my life over the past few years, we should all be on the same page about Jump David Jump.

The elongated version of what I want this blog (or actually my entire life) to be about is below. The following passage was written over 2 years ago and sitting quietly in a file on my computer. However, I've only recently found the guts to start saying what I actually want to say on my blog in the past few weeks.

---

‘Jump David Jump’ is a public reminder to myself.  It’s kind of like the online blogging equivalent to girls who wear granny-panties on a first-date.  It’s a reminder not to do anything stupid and hold yourself to a higher standard.  If I must answer to public accountability, I'll think twice about my decisions.

‘Jump David Jump’ took shape after realizing that Settling is Natural.  Regardless of the fact that I read this on a orange juice bottle label, it’s one of those important lessons, manifesting itself in the quirkiest moments affecting the core of who you are as a person.  After reading this simple phrase explaining the nature of orange juice pulp to gravitationally settle on the bottom of the bottle (unless given a good shake), things started to make sense about my life up to this point.

Good things in life (much like tasty orange juice) seem to happen after shaking, not settling.

Looking back at this moment (with the refrigerator door probably standing wide open) I realize I am:

1. Extremely profound in my Issac Newton-ish moment
2. Completely ridiculous and wasting electricty

I think this phrase 'Shake Well, Settling is Natural' printed on that Orange Juice bottle has stuck with me because it does not vilify settling.  Like gravity it is natural, but to work against it takes effort and struggle. For some reason, I think settling works really well for certain types of people.  Many would argue there is absolutely nothing wrong with settling for what life offers you and I’m sure many people are happy accepting exactly what they are given. That's cool. It just never worked for me.

But for whatever reason, this concept of settling has always given me a weird sickly feeling in my stomach that won't leave until I physically do something about it. So I personally assigned the term JUMP to this action of ‘doing something about it’ or to 'physically change what you know the outcome will result in'. Maybe because the word jump actually means a departure from what is solid or what is known, into something new or unknown.  When you jump, there is only so much control as to where you will land. I suppose the fear of where you will land seems to be the only logical reason not to jump in the first place.

As I write this, I have the same sickly feeling saying, don’t put this on the internet. (*Take note: I didn't Jump. I didn't put this on the internet until now)  Don’t tell people this.  Now you are responsible for your actions and feelings when you could just keep it to yourself and be blissfully alone with your own thoughts.

But that is exactly the crap that gets me in trouble.  Being safe.  Staying where I'm at. Remaining who I am with what I know.

In life we all make decisions about how we will live.  Most of these decisions, both big and small, are to either settle for what we know is easy or jump into something new, something different and most likely scary. It’s easy to say that Jumping is always the right decision. It’s not. Sometimes it ends poorly.

For myself, I’ve learned that jumping seems to result in, not an easier life, but a happier life.  When I JUMP, something new always happens and this new thing (whether good or bad) keeps me from getting bored.  And too be honest, my greatest fear in life is boredom.  Jumping gives me new challenges, new problems, new successes, new failures, etc...  It sounds so simple, I know.  But I have to decide if I want to live the same day over and over again or if I am going to invite something new into my life.  This decision is harder than it sounds.

Finally, I realize my life is a constant set of decisions about whether or not I am going to JUMP, whether or not I am going to make a decision based in my safe little world or a decision to take me to a new place in life; maybe good, maybe bad, but different nonetheless.  At least it keeps me from being bored.

I’m not a great writer, an amazing musician or a brilliant director. I’m not a lot of things...  But I am solely responsible for my own actions.  If nothing else, I need to get good at that.

---

So, consider yourself caught up, not to where this blog has been, but to what it must become.  I kinda feel like I'm burning bridges because I can't go back to the safe life I previously had. But that's OK, because my life is completely changed. Every day from this point forward I have to wake up and know my days are numbered. Every single day I am going to be faced with a chance to settle or to jump. I feel my focus has been shifted in an amazing way and I pray your focus will also be adjusted through this story.

There you have it. That is why my blog is called Jump David Jump.

Onwards.

I may (or may not) have 10 years to live.

We received great news on Monday. The most important piece of information we could have received is that this glioma was Grade II and oligo-based... and it is! This means the tumor has slowly been growing for a long time and isn't overly aggressive. However, it was also confirmed that the sheer size and location of the tumor definitely makes it inoperable. So we will have to attack it with Radiation and Chemotherapy. Our ability to maintain and/or shrink the tumor will be our best chance to keep it from coming back as a very dangerous Grade III diagnosis, which is the worst thing that could happen in the coming years.

The next most important piece of information we still need to learn is that this tumor has the co-deletion of the 1p/19q chromosomal arms. We'll find that out later this week. As previously stated, this deletion increases sensitivity to the chemotherapy and improves the prognosis.  Looking forward to sharing the results with you!

So, now we need to talk about 3 things. I hope that's not too much.

1. It's Science.

Sitting at Mayo, we had to ask a few tough questions. This tumor will affect my life in some ways. But how much?

We just needed some basic answers about what to (and not to) expect in our future. The quick answer appears it's time I give up on my dream of becoming a UFC Champion. But beyond the important things like that, what about my life span? What about having kids someday? What about my career? What do I tell my friends and family about what is 'scientifically possible' of happening to me?

Thirty minutes later, after Dr. Awesome spliced together stories including parking garages, a single magical car with hundreds of accelerators and brake pedals, his daughter's grades, (assassination theory came back up again - I think that is his favorite), Olympic marathons and his wife's feelings regarding the final installation of the wood flooring in his new house... we got to some answers. (Don't get me wrong, the above metaphors all made complete sense - remember, he is Dr. Awesome).

From a scientific perspective, not including any information about me specifically, if a case similar to mine were to come across the desk of a random oncologist and placed into a pile of similar cases (large Grade II - Oligo-based tumors), the overall pile would average a lifespan of 10 years.  However, the individual diagnosis of each case (skewing from the low vs. high life span) cannot truly be determined until after round one of chemotherapy and radiation as well as 6-12 months of monitoring how the tumor reacts.

Dr. Awesome told me, scientifically-speaking, I may (or may not) have 10 years to live.

2. It's not 'entirely' Science.

He then informed me of some benefits he can see right away that aren't entirely scientific.  We caught this while I'm young, I'm motivated to beat this thing, I have hope for my future, I have a positive outlook on my current situation, and I'm surrounded by a great support system (that's you - WOOT!). Overall, there is evidence showing my case could do better than the average of 10 years.  By creating specific diets, exercising, taking care of myself, showering regularly, etc... I will have a relative amount of power to affect the rate at how this tumor will affect my life.

3. It's not Science at all.

The reason I am telling you all of this is because by reading this, you have expressed interest in following God's story that happens to include me. (And thinking about it like that, this story already includes you too - hope that's cool) But if I were to leave out specific parts of this story, you might miss an important plot point that God is sharing.  So by not telling you that I may (or may not) have 10 years to live, I would be holding back information that God thinks is important for this story. So, we move forward together with full disclosure. Cool?

It's somewhat difficult not to lie in bed after receiving news like this and begin to wonder where I may fall on the 'Oligo Bell Curve O' Survival'.  These verses have been such a comfort to me:

"My *tumor was not hidden from you

when I was made in the secret place

When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,

Your eyes saw my unformed body.

All the days ordained for me

were written in your book

before one of them came to be."

    - Psalm 139:15-16

* ('Tumor' was definitely tossed in by me. I think it's a funny addition. Originally was 'frame')

How freaking beautiful is that writing, not to mention what it actually means!

I'm so glad that God knows me more than Dr. Awesome knows me. While I openly appreciate Dr. Awesome for his knowledge and passion to save lives, he simply didn't know about my tumor until he saw it on an MRI. God knew about this tumor from the beginning. While case studies anticipate life-spans, dietitians predict results and doctors offer scientific reasoning, I trust God knew exactly how many days I had on this earth before even one of them came to be. 

It is so comforting to know that God has (for some time now) been designing this new thing in my life. And He is currently orchestrating the climax of this story for His benefit, not mine. If I were to live my entire life with this type of understanding, with this clarity, what type of person would I be? How would I treat people differently? How much more often would I kiss my wife?

"Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom." - Psalm 90:12

After our meeting to hear about this potential '10 year life-span', Amy looked at me and said, "Wow, it's almost like we need to realize that we should live each day as though it's our last". (Awkward pause... laughter) When did THIS become news? We just had to laugh at the ridiculous statement of our new outlook on life.

We should have been doing this years ago, not after learning about a brain tumor. I suppose I can consider myself lucky that when the days come (and they will) when I start to forget each day could be my last, I have an MRI that proves it. In fact, I should put the tumor photo on the fridge with our Paul Bunyan magnet.

And in the meantime, I am learning very quickly about what the important things in life are: Family flying in from across the world, friends waiting at airports, lasagnas delivered in the trunks of cars, beautiful flowers, envelopes filled with grocery money, hugs from the local store attendant down the street, friends standing up on your behalf and defending your decisions, partners picking up your workload, etc... and we've only been home about 18 hours.

These are the important things that cancer should never 'remind us to do'.  This is what it is all about.

So this is what I have to say to you.  Take it or leave it.

Dear You,

You may (or may not) have 10 years to live.  What are you going to do about it?

Dear Brain - Don't forget important meeting on Monday.

First off, thank you! I am humbled and amazed by the number of people who are reading and responded to this blog. From family, friends, schoolmates, co-workers, biz partners and photography friends via Amy's industry, I feel surrounded by people who believe in a God that not only loves us, but offers us His healing to those who ask for it.

(Side-note: I have also sent this message out to members of the Facebook Group: Pray for David Wenzel - Operation 55 Zebra, a group started by a good friend of mine. I will soon condense all my updates, but in the meantime I thought I should let you know this facebook group exists.)

Gonna try to keep this short.  On Monday morning (the 22nd) around 11:00 CST, I will be meeting with Dr. Uhm (A.K.A. Dr. Awesome) to receive the official pathology results of my brain biopsy.

We have faith, and are praying specifically, that I have a "Grade II - Oligodendroglioma". In addition, we have faith to hear later this week that this tumor has a 'co-deletion of chromosomal arms 1p/19q'.  While that may sound confusing, God totally speaks DNA and will hear your prayers loud and clear.  If you need help to remember, just pray that David 'minds his p's and q's'.

But this is what I actually wanted to tell you. I have a gut feeling you've got something going on in your life right now and you do not have complete faith that God can (or will) keep His promises to you. Maybe you doubt that God can take care of you when it comes to finding a new job, dealing with your current job, fixing your marriage, managing your kids, finishing school, paying bills, etc... I really don't know what that thing is, but I know that you know.

It will be very easy for you to remain safe and say "I trust that God is in complete control of this situation". To be honest, the majority of my life has been summarized by this statement.  And while I believe this is still a super-legit thing to say to God, I am challenging you to take this one step further. I challenge you to ask for faith that moves God, not only to 'be in control', but to act on your behalf.

Reminds me of a simple verse that we often like to pretend is difficult: "Faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see." - Hebrews 11:1.

If you have trouble with it, just read it like you are 12 years old (child-like faith). If you don't get it, maybe pretend you're 8 and try again. And again.

I want you to be SURE of what you hope for. I want you to be CERTAIN of what you do not see. For once, I want you to JUMP and rely on God to move and come through on your behalf.

Lord knows I'm in mid-air right now. I'll let you know what Dr. Awesome says.

Kung-Fu saved my life.

Insurance - It's Elementary...

A recent insurance challenge presented itself a few days ago.  While it has already been resolved, I thought you might like a good Saturday morning story. It was rather difficult explaining to my insurance company, as well as Mayo clinic, why we never caught this tumor sooner. Strangely enough, in an effort to recover past medical documents to prove there were no 'previous symptoms' for insurance purposes... we were having trouble finding any!  I have been so healthy my entire life that the only serious documented 'medical problem' I've ever had has been an ear infection which required a quick visit to the ER.  I typically don't tell people this because so many people endure so much pain and suffering that I try to keep this information to myself. However, in lieu of recent events, I feel alright telling you this.

My father is actually a Physicians Assistant so he has managed any minor health issues over the years (which again we couldn't recall), but we also needed some outside evidence of good records. And if you know my father (he's also a retired Air Force Lt. Colonel) he refuses to give up easily. Release the hounds...

(Small side-note: We also tried to contact a local clinic that took a few chest x-rays of me circa 1996 when we thought I might have Bronchitis. Maybe they had some basic physical info from the exam just to prove we aren't entirely negligent when it comes to health care. In response, they managed to fax us one of their random European patient's leukemia results.  We were very confused and pretty sure they broke the law. But the leukemia results were negative, so yay!)

Now since then we've been able to find the records we needed, but up until that point, we were still in search mode. In a valiant effort, my father actually managed to find some past medical documents. He discovered 1.5 pages of hand-written notes passed along through my grade-school nurses detailing my "medical history" from 1987-1997. Seriously...

A few notable entries we discovered the other day included:

Oct 24,1988 - Scraped hand on playground.  Put water on it. Icepack. Sent back to class.

Sep 25,1990 - Sunburn on right shoulder.  Icepack. Sent back to class.

Sep 26, 1990 (Next day) - Complaint of another student slapping sunburn on right shoulder.  Icepack. Sent back to class.

3 things you should note:

1. Per my duty as a young male, I did what I could to get out of class and at any cost. Even if it meant playing up a sunburn... I regret nothing.

2. Our school nurse system was entirely pointless. This ridiculous history (despite it's amazing accuracy and record-keeping) caused me to remember that their 'ice-packs' were frozen dish-sponges in zip-loc baggies with a brown paper towel around them.  I can still smell the mold. 

3. Go get a physical. Yes, I know it costs money.  Do it. While I am sure you won't discover anything, at least you can say that you tried. Insurance = FTW.

Knock, Knock...

Apparently the first thing I reported to my anesthesiologists after waking up from surgery was a 'knock knock' joke that my niece had told me the day before:

David: Knock Knock,
Dr: Who's there?
David: Banana.
Dr: Banana Who?
David: Banana Chicken.

I asked them if they understood it.  They said no and I agreed.  Still trying to figure that one out.

Quickly after surgery I was in an ICU room overnight.  Despite my first experience with a catheter which I won't go into... my wife and family were able to join me and laugh about the crazy things that continue to happen.  For example, I was lying in the Pre-Operating Room and had someone walk up and say to me, "This might sound random, but were you just on Jasmine Star's blog?"  Yes, a photography fan / Med-Student who had been specifically assigned to my case, read my story 2 days before on the blog of a photographer friend of Amy and I's. And now here she was comforting me, making small talk over the photography world, something extremely unexpected and completely comforting. Small world?

I'm not going to lie.  It was scary.  I was wheeled into the Operation Room where quite a few people were all rushing around and making final preparations.  As the anesthesiologists were placing the mask over my mouth and asking me to take deep breaths, I can still remember what running through my head over and over until I passed out... "The Lord is my light and my salvation.  Who is there to fear?"  - Psalm 27:1

I woke up several hours later and was feeling pretty good despite a headache. Throughout the day, it was incredible to see the prayers that had been offered on my behalf.  As I've said before, I will never speak ill-will of Facebook again.  It has become a faithful tool sharing all of your thoughts and prayers with me.  For that, I cannot thank you enough.

Amy spent the night in the ICU with me which was needed because it was such a frustrating night.  Why?  We've recently learned that my resting heart beat is extremely low.  Meaning that when I go to sleep my heartbeat actually dips below about 40 beats a minute.  While in the ICU I'm hooked up to heart monitors that alert the nurses just in case my heart stops or slows down. While originally set at about 60 beats a minute, they have to turn down the alarm to 50, 45, then 40 beats a minute, but can't go any lower... 

What does this mean?  Every time I fall asleep... every time my head drifts off (like it used to do in 6th period Physics class) to that delicious land of sleep, 3 different alarms start blaring in my ear.  Despite my best attempts to bribe my nurse to turn the 'beats per minute' alert down, turn down the alert volume or turn a blind eye and unplug my machine, alas, he would not.  I understand. It's his job. So pretty much, after brain surgery I got about 1-2 hours of sporadic sleep. ICU has now been turned into a sleep-torture chamber for me. 

I'm praying for miraculous healing from God because if I ever have to spend the night in the ICU again, I'm not sure I'll keep my sanity.

---

I want to publicly say thank you to Dr. Meyer and his surgical team. While my experience with surgeries is... limited, I couldn't have imagined it going any better.  Apparently, they were able to successfully obtain samples from the tumor 'hot-spot' which allows them to get the best possible idea for what the pathology of the actual tumor is. Using a 3-D map of my brain pieced together by the results of the functional MRI to avoid any 'sensitive regions', they drilled a small pencil-size hole in my head and placed a needed through the 7 cm tumor to find this hot spot and draw out 4 different samples.  Science is so freakin' cool.  Operation 55 Zebra = Biopsy Success.

While Dr. Meyer is like a hard-core fighter pilot or an astronaut exploring the outer-reaches of what is capable through brain surgery, he is very careful about what he says about hope.  Over and over again, he has made it very clear that from a surgical standpoint, I have an inoperable brain tumor.  But he has been the only person we've been able to speak with up until this point.  After a successful biopsy, he was able to pass me onto an oncologist who could shed some light on the post-biopsy situation.

Dr. Uhm was brilliant in an entirely different way.  He explained to me all of the potential outcomes of the biopsy and detailed what the best / worst scenarios were.  I knew I really liked him when he started explaining the situation like this...

"There are 3 of you sitting in this room with me.  Let's pretend there is an assassin attempting to kill one of you.  What is the best way he could possibly do it?  Well, theoretically, he could..." 

I was sold. I didn't even care what else he had to say. This was awesome. And eventually he somehow turned this assassination story into a medical decision tree explaining all of the possible outcomes.  About an hour later he told me what he 'thinks' I have based on the current evidence.  We will however not know this until Monday when final results are in. This meeting was rare.  Why? I met with a super-genius whose time is worth more than I could ever imagine who was 'speculating' about my diagnosis with no test results. What?! Anyway, I am so thankful he even TOOK this meeting without the results being back in!  So now we can pray for exactly for what we want the test results to be.

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." - Phil. 4:6-7

So, here it is!  I ask that you would pray repeatedly and with thanksgiving for the following results! Based on the samples pulled from my noggin, the best possible outcome for my tumor results would be:

"Grade II - Oligodendroglioma with a co-deletion of chromosomes 1p/19q"

You can read about the science here.  The interesting chromosomal deletion mentioned in the above results is a heightened sensitivity to chemotherapy and improved diagnosis.  While we won't know about the co-deletion for another week, the actual treatment program will be exactly the same.  The chromosomal deletion would be just an extra bit of good-news!

Dr. Awesome then suggested I talk with Dr. Paul Brown, a Radiation Specialist who could explain a few more things to me on the side of treatment.  I kid you not... 5 minutes later I was sitting in a room with Dr. Brown who answered every single question we could throw at him.  He explained to me the medical advancements in Chemotherapy and Radiation treatments which was very surprising to hear!  We have another meeting with him on Monday which will take into account the final pathology results delivered by Dr. Uhm.  Again, so impressed with these doctors and their abilities.

After Monday, we will be returning home to Grand Rapids and putting together a treatment plan for the near future.  We have received so much hope from these 2 new doctors that the size of the tumor can be either maintained, meaning the situation will not get worse and I'll stay relatively the same as I am now OR the tumor could actually shrink relieving some of the stress currently being put on my brain.  Obviously there are many more details, but this post is already long enough.

I will keep you all updated over the weekend, as well as share some of the other stories / blessings that have come from all of this.  I love you all very much.  Thank you for your continued prayers that this story will glorify God.  As I said before and will say again many times, This is His story and I'm honored to participate in it.