Clueless & Free

Couple of quick updates:

• My MRI has been moved from November 17th to November 24th. Please continue to pray that we will see tumor shrinkage on that day. Then we shall all offering Thanksgiving for the good news and eat Tofurkey.
• I am doing fine after my last blog which detailed a trip to the emergency room. I've been busy relaxing and/or working and haven't been able to post, but I am feeling fine. Thank you for all of your kind notes and prayers!
• This blog is ridiculously long and somewhat aimless. You may want to quit reading and enjoy the rest of your day. Don't say I didn't warn you, but this thought has been on my brain since Catalyst and I have to post it.

Onward.

I am in Ohio this weekend. I am speaking to a middle school, a high school, a cancer support group and a church. I have no idea what I am going to say at 3 of those 4 places. I am clueless about what I am going to say, yet feel completely free about how things will turn out. 

I am clueless and free. Why? I've recently stumbled across the fact that I am not a teacher but a story teller. I realize that God has not given me wisdom in the form of a 3 point framework that can be disputed on scientific or theological merit, but a simple story to retell. If you don't like or disagree with the story, that's cool. I'm okay with that. (And that's a big thing for me to say)

So this is what I'm doing... I follow God, along with this story, to middle-schools in tiny towns of Ohio and cancer support groups where probably very few people will be undergoing (or interested in) alternative treatments similar to mine and high schools where kids are more interested in, well... just about anything than me or my story.

But my job is neither to determine who gets to hear my story, nor is it to convince people I am right and they are wrong based upon knowledge or wisdom. My job is to tell simply tell the story. So I go and whatever happens after that isn't up to me.

This is a very freeing mindset for me but I've just recently realized why it's taken me so long understand it. My job at Dot&Cross is to tell stories that carry truth, that look beautiful with music swelling underneath at the right points. These stories create change and impact in society by amplifying messages that previously were sitting somewhat unheard. So I think it's odd/funny that God has given me this crazy story with no ending and no public soundtrack (even though I have my own in my head). But seems more appropriate for some strange reason. I guess it feels more like real life and less like a movie.

But that got me thinking...

In general, I am pretty good orator. I am also a pretty good salesman. But in this situation, with this story, it doesn't matter. In any other situation, it means that I can provide persuasive evidence that can change motivations or offer a new viewpoint that has the potential to change another person's intentions so that they can perform some type of action be it to laugh, cry, buy something, sign a petition, 'come down to the front', whatever... In other words, many people who are good with words get their way because they can persuade people to perform some type of action through either influence, negotiation, persuasion, guilt, manipulation, etc...

I don't want my words to convince you to do anything. I just want to tell my story. I believe that should you decide to do something, it should be your decision, not something I convince you to do.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying this is bad. I'm also not saying it's good. I'm just saying it is and it happens every single day. It happens every time you watch a TV commercial, walk into a Starbucks, go to church, etc... we influence each other. And this influence, this power, can be handled in both good and bad ways. As people start reading this blog or sending me notes about how I am helping them deal with this or that, I realize that you have a power over me and I have power (even if it's small) over you.

I recently heard Andy Crouch speaking at Catalyst. Andy is a really humble and brilliant guy who wrote a book called Culture Making which is a really solid book. But at Catalyst he was talking about 'power'. I can't get into how brilliant it was right now, but the overall idea is that when a person gains power through 'creation', they also gain power to 'coerce'. For an obvious example, we saw this happen with Obama. A person exercised 'creative power' which resulted in him gaining 'coercive power'. The same thing happens with all rockstars, actors, political figures, talk-show hosts, etc...

(Side note: My only problem with Andy's approach is the word 'coerce'. I would prefer to use 'persuasive power' as the definition of 'coerce' has a negative connotation to it: to persuade someone to do something through force or threats. Andy goes on to say that this 'coercive power' can be used to accomplish good or bad which sounds closer to the definition of persuasion. However, Andy is much smarter than I so he probably has much better reasoning for using this word, so I'll stick with it for the sake of this blog.)

The first thing that popped into my mind is talking with Don Miller about his days before Blue Like Jazz and now of course, A Million Miles in a Thousand Years. Before Blue Like Jazz, he was just another guy living in Portland, but then he publicly and humbly spilled his guts via memoir to the world. He exercised 'creative power' and because of the success of the book, he now has 'coercive power'. Now people care about what he says or who he is voting for. He has used this 'power' to start a mentoring program, write more books, speak to people, gather groups of artists, etc... (Sorry to pick on you Don, but you are a perfect example)

This is a pretty basic concept, but as you can imagine the more accepted 'creative power' you create, the more 'coercive power' you employ. Other celebrity examples could include Bono, George Clooney, Steve Jobs, Donald Trump, Oprah, Angelina Jolie, etc...  By simply 'being famous', you get to influence people who follow you to donate money, adopt babies, buy books, watch more television, etc...

However, there are also numerous bad examples out there. I don't want to get anyone worked up so I won't name names right now, but I'm sure you can imagine people who influence people in negative ways just because they were famous, elected, or appointed.

But here is where I'm going...

I was watching The Daily Show the other night and they had Captain Chesley Sullenberger or 'Sully' on the show. You know Sully, right? He's the captain that unbelievably landed the US Airways passenger plane in the Hudson River with no causalities. He truly is a hero. It was a riot to hear the tapes of Captain Sully calmly telling the air-traffic control tower that 'We're gonna be in the Hudson'. I pretty much want to legally adopt this man as my grandpa.

The power over his trade or his 'creation' gave him public coercive power. He was immediately a national hero! He was on every talk show, he was given accolades from the president and he already has a book on shelves you can buy. This story is an example of 'creative power / coercive power' at it's finest. Because he landed that plane and saved hundreds of lives, we give him ridiculously high amounts of sway to influence us. If he had screwed the whole thing up, there is no reason that Obama, Jon Stewart, you or me would be remotely interested in buying his book.

But he said something in his interview that really struck me. He called this whole situation exactly what it was without aggrandizing it. (And he's an old salty-dog of a captain so I expected nothing less). I'm completely paraphrasing but he essentially told Jon Stewart this:

"Listen, I was just doing my job. But because I did my job well, I have now own lots of peoples' attention. And this attention isn't going to last forever because people's attention spans are short. But for now, I am going to use this event (*creative power) to do the most good for the most amount of people for the longest amount of time (*coercive power)."

Essentially, he isn't going to shy away from the fact that he has the attention of others on him, but he also isn't going to fight to KEEP that attention on him. I thought these were wise words from a wise man. I imagine you and I could come up with a long list of people who go way out of their way to make sure that your attention remains on them...

Andy Crouch said that a good way to measure this is Twitter followers. When someone decides to follow you on Twitter, they are saying, "Yes, I give you permission to interrupt my life (via twitter feed) with your thoughts. Because of something you have done (either through creative or relational power) I am offering you the opportunity to talk to me or 'coerce' me if you would like." 

So, why do I have nearly 1,000 people following me on Twitter? Before I had cancer I had about 100 people following me. What's the difference? I can only suppose I have people following me because they are somewhat interested in the story/circumstances of my cancer, my speaking or my writing. Or worst-case scenario they just want to keep updated to prove they were right and I was wrong when it came to treatment. Nevertheless, expressing this story via 'creative power' has resulted in 'coercive power'. (Side-note: And again, coercive is a strange word that we probably have bad associations with, but I think Andy Crouch is smarter than me so I'll continue to use it.)

But all this really means is that you are reading this post. However, my thought is that if I didn't have cancer you probably wouldn't be reading this post.

Follow?

So why are you still reading? Maybe I'm wrong, but it would appear that through my circumstances or by expressing 'creative power', you have allowed me to express a small amount of 'coercive power' upon you. Correct?

Now keep in mind that all of this happens everyday and no one really talks about it, until Andy brought it up and got me thinking about it. So it's his fault that I'm thinking on this concept and why I'm writing this slightly paranoid gargantuan blog-post.

I'm concerned. Why? Because I'm not really all that smart, not that great of a leader and I barely have my head on straight enough to say anything of value, let alone have any type of 'coercive power' over anyone. I'm just a guy who has issues and one of those issues now includes cancer. I'm just trying to figure out what to do next or how to keep from screwing up my next big decision.

But for some reason you are reading this. Why? Are you looking for something? Are you interested in how my story ends? I really don't know. And to be honest, I've been blown away by how many people have shown up. Even World Magazine did a recent story on me. Why? I'm just another guy with cancer and let's be honest there are plenty of people out there with cancer much more serious than mine, and there are many other blogs about cancer which written much better than mine. (As I typed that last sentence my confusion about grammar and my overall blatant use of random commas ought to prove my point...)

So I have to ask myself... Am I trying to convince you to do something?

I suppose that according to Andy's theory I could be manipulating my story with my words so that I can get you to do something. Maybe I could convince you to donate money somewhere, buy something or to follow so-and-so on twitter.

All I know is that I am blessed that I have your attention for a reason I'm still trying to figure out. I know that while I may have your attention now because of this crazy cancer story, like Sully, I also know this time will pass, things will happen and you will forget about all this.

And that's okay. I am not going to fight to keep your attention on me. I am only going to continue telling my story and letting the spirit of God change people as He sees fit. There is a clueless freedom that comes from speaking the truth to anyone, anywhere at any time. I'm finally starting to indulge myself in this thought.

But I thought we should come to an agreement. If I ever want to take advantage of the fact that you may have allowed me a small amount of 'coercive power' over you, should I ever want to manipulate you to do something I'm just going to come right out and say it. Because if I want to convince you to do something, think something or buy something, let's not have to sit through an awfully long blog-post such as this to get to it.

For example, I can think of 4 things right now that I would like you to either consider, quit or purchase:

(Side-note: While typing I realized that 3 of 4 included the word 'crap' which is a word I was not allowed to say in the Wenzel household when I was growing up. So for the sake of consistency I added it to the 4th point. Sorry mom.)

1. I cannot imagine fighting cancer without acknowledging there is a God and somehow, through mysterious ways, He uses cancer / suffering / illness / tragedy as a strange tool, not to spite us, but to allow us to understand Him more. I know there is a lot of crap said about God (even by those who claim to follow Him) about how screwed up He is by allowing suffering in this world, but despite my best efforts, I cannot imagine this Divine Being is not big enough to somehow wrap His arms around it all. You don't have to comprehend or understand it all to accept it. Personally, I feel that if I could completely comprehend God, He probably wouldn't be worth following anyway and my first use of 'coercive power' would be for you to stop considering the idea of God. But at this point, I cannot undermine or turn my back on God because I don't like something He allowed to happen to me or other people.

2.  Be very careful about who you allow to have 'coercive power' over you. Most people are full of crap. This list probably includes me. As much as possible, go out of your way to learn from wise people and think for yourself.

3. I think you should all be much more careful about what you eat. Even if you don't have cancer, stop eating all that crap.

3. Buy the new Monsters of Folk album. It is not crap.

Comments

[Rachel J.]

People who have brain tumors who are believers say things that are worth listening to. Thanks for sharing your story again, I will keep listening and learning from what God is doing in and through you. You say some rich, honest thoughts on faith that most don't venture out to say. So thanks!

[Bianca]

1. I follow you on Twitter because I think you're cool.
2. Crap was banned in our house too. Go mom!
3. What you had to say was profound. Thanks for sharing!

[Tena, Lawrence, MA]

FYI~ I was drawn to your blog because of your cancer. I continue to follow your blog because of your faith in God. Your faith encourages me and steers me down the right path on those days when it is easier to just take the shortcut through the woods.

"As much as possible, go out of your way to learn from wise people and think for yourself."

Thank you for your words. Thank you for your transparency. Thank you for sharing.

[Brooke M]

You may be "just a guy with issues", and I think that is what makes your writing and story so engaging. We all want to know that there are other people with issues out there, and perhaps the way you "deal" with your issues and find healing and restoration from them will help others. I know it is helping me. Thank you for always being so honest.

[Valerie Hunsberger]

Thanks for your random thoughts, David. Just so you know, I read your blogs because I care about you and want to know how to pray for you. Even in your suffering, you are in God's care and that is all that really matters.

[Amber]

two points:

*you are so much wiser than you give yourself credit for.

*i believe that God is using your experience to change the lives of others.

:) carry on.

{okay, one more. quoted from my mom to mom bible study. "You are not responsible for the results, I am. You are responsible to be faithful. I take care of the rest. paraphrased from I Chronicle 28:9-10.}

[Kelly Braman]

*I follow your blog because I am in awe of how God is working in your life, which in turn, helps others. I believe God has a plan and a purpose for everyone and it is not until our eyes are wide open that we can be open to what that plan is. God gives us pieces to the puzzle and as humans, it sure would be nice to see the pieces fit together perfectly and laid out in front of us. That is where our faith has to come into play. When we have nothing but God to get us through that is when we are beautifully broken.
Stay strong and faithful. I can only imagine how much delight you bring to God by sharing your story and remaining so positive and faithful in the midst of your trials. God will honor that...I don't know how...but, He does:)

[Sara Santos]

Loved the post! Especially the list of 'craps'.

[Suzi]

Thanks for sharing again David! I love following your blog because of your faith and because you have decided to use diet as your treatment. I am very intrigued by this because we did this with our son along with conventional treatment. I am almost positive that if I were in your shoes I would do the exact same thing. And I agree that people really should think about not eating so much crap!

[Christina]

I had someone send me a link to your site, and that's why I first read your story. I continue to read because you are, as Quintilian would say, "a good man speaking well."

Thank you.

[Hannah]

ahhh, I heard Monsters of Folk on my way to work this morning and liked the song, but didn't realise it was them! It's next on my list after Mumford and Sons.

See. Coercive does work!

[Alissa Spinniken]

Hi David, I met you about a week ago when you came and told your story at Bay Pointe in Traverse City. I came up and spoke you and Amy after the service.

I just wanted to say thank you for having the guts to travel around and tell your story to strangers. You could spend you weekends very differently, but you don't. I respect you for that. You and Amy are choosing to not let cancer scare and debilitate you. Instead you are two very courageous people representing the king. How cool is that?

You inspire me and I am checking your blog every day and praying for you when ever you both come to mind.

[Chara Robinson]

How cool is it that you are making God smile right now? Really, how cool IS that?!

[Jen]

Not that this has anything to do with your extremely well written post, but Monsters of Folk is definitely not crap.
We saw them in concert (after also seeing the individual "parts" over the last few years), and they truly are unbelievable. No opener, non stop music for over 3 hours.
Keep it up, you are truly coercing me. . .

[Kristy]

I started reading your blog because I somehow stumbled upon it. I continue reading it because you are an amazing writer who is transparent and challenges me in my own faith. Although I agree with your point of coercive power, I would be honored to be in your shoes because God has trusted you to honor him with your journey. He has GIVEN you coercive power over many people for just a time as this - to bring glory to his name and people to his very face. Thankfully, you are embarking on that challenge willingly and following in obedience no matter how confusing and HARD it must seem. Take advantage of your coercive power for the time that God has allowed you to have it - and use it full force for God's glory. Thanks for who you are and your obedience to God!

[twitter.com/kirsten_al]

Wow! Moved to tears. Bless you for being willing to be used to potentially change people's lives for the better.

[jaime]

i hopped on my computer tonight to edit my lastest session and thought... "oh no! It is Nov which means MRI for David and Amy which means did I miss it. Only to read first about the metallic taste in your mouth and scary trip to the hospital. Preparing for a seizure is no fun. Grasping for the hard ones or wondering what you will look like during it is hard. I am so sorry I have totally missed these last posts but happy to see I have not missed the MRI! I will be checking back to see God's work. Enjoy your tofurkey and love every moment of each other!!! hug to you 2!

[Emily]

I got to your blog. From another blog. I just had to say "Your awesome".

[Ray Chinchilla]

Long Post, I should've taken your advice and gone about my day.

Well I heard you speak at Calvary Chapel Montebello yesterday and was really impacted by your story.

It was your observation of how people are inspired by the end story that really hit a chord with me.

Granted your story isn't complete but you made the observation of creative and coercive power, which i think you are on to something.

Since the story isn't completed there must be some compelling creative power that has given you coercive power, or persuasive power (Less negative as you stated).

You are an instrument playing that has not finished it's song. Horrible anology but best I have.

As earlier stated from another poster that is of course from God.

Yet, It's rare though to see someone in the face of adversity, to the point that there own faith is questioned and stretched. Standing up for the path that God has revealed to them, without some measure of assuredy.

As cancer is an all in or all out situation. You are in a position where we are intrigued as it progresses, though some might be for more cynical reasons as you pointed out.

Nonetheless, it reaffirms us that God is with us. I honestly believe that. I've noticed that it's great that you go through it and get closer, but then you look around and where is he working somewhere else? This is the real bummer sometimes.

As in my situation which is the opposite, my physical has put me to a weakened state but my mind believes I will make it through it. But is it God's will? What if it's the other way around.

Well you did say that the will of God and the faith and hope of what you don't see but believe will happen from Hebrews 11. Is the key, because we want those two to be in sync.

Yet when you get to this, I believe that this is the turning point that gets you closer to God.

Now for what reason well that's why we wait to see, with great interested.

For the record, I hope God glorifies himself in you. Just in case you thought I was on the cynical side.

The bible does say that greater things than these you will see, now that Jesus is next to the Father. Also it says about the signs in young people and more. Of course i'm paraphrasing.

I do think God is doing something grand.
I also do feel a uncontrollable urge to buy Monsters of Folk, darn that coercive power.

[Reuben]

Hey David I heard your message and admire your courage. Go to these David.

http://www.cancer.gov/cancertopics/pdq/cam/essiac/HealthProfessional/page3

http://www.essiacinfo.org/

[CapturedByJess]

I first came here because I followed Amy's blog and was shocked to hear about your diagnosis.

I stayed for two reasons;

One, because I am fascinated with the treatment program you are following and am excited to hear how well it goes for you. (Did you know every atom in our bodies are all replaced in under 2 years?! Imagine the possibilities!!)

And two, I am equally fascinated with people who are as passionate about their religious beliefs as I am about my lack thereof as a secular humanist.

You and your story have me under the thumb of your persuasive power. ;)